I sit here today
in awe of the way that the Lord provides.
It was the
beginning of April and the business of the first half of the semester had
settled down. I was starting to have the availability to focus on the parts of
my life I had put on the backburner for a couple of months – one of those being
fundraising for South Africa.
I had applied
for (and unsuccessfully received) a couple of scholarships at the beginning of
the semester. Truthfully, my attempts at fundraising thus far were quite
pathetic. With only seven weeks to go, I had less than a fourth of my total
raised and that had all come from an automatic scholarship from the program and
a generous check from my parents (thanks mom and dad). So, at that point, you
can imagine the sense of urgency in my heart.
Throughout this
entire journey though, I’ve been working to trust the Lord. I know he would not
provide this opportunity for me to go to South Africa and then just leave me
when it came to raising funds. That’s just not his character. He is faithful
and He is good.
This all came to
a point a couple weeks ago on a Thursday evening during our prep course for
International Service Teams. My other team members were talking about how they
have been getting a lot of checks from friends and family members. One of the
girls was even nearly fully funded at that point. I felt so inadequate,
frustrated, and confused. So, I prayed…
“God, I know you
are good and I know you are faithful. But, really, when is this money going to
start coming? I don’t want to be greedy, but I’m at the end of my rope, God. I’m
starting to doubt that you will provide.”
You know, it’s
funny. It’s when I’m at the end of my rope that God comes through the most.
It’s when I let go of wanting control and my desire to see my own plan executed.
And it’s when I surrender and admit that it’s impossible to do it through my
own strength and will. His plans are better than I can imagine and His grace is
in no way dependent on my performance; on how many support letters I send out
or about whether or not I receive the scholarships I apply for.
That same night
of my breaking point, I went to Christian Challenge and sat next to one of my
friends who is traveling to Taiwan this summer to serve in an orphanage.
Consequently, she is also seeking to raise her own support for her trip. She had
to slip out early during one of the last worship songs, but before she did, she
handed me a note. While her encouraging words and bible verses she wrote were
enough to give me hope, there was more. Attached to the bottom of the note was
a check. This was money she was praying about giving me for a while and wanted
me to have to support me in this journey. God’s timing is perfect.
And He didn’t
stop there. The next day I woke up to an e-mail that said I had received a
significant grant from the College of Education that I had applied for. Then,
later in the day, I received two checks from some of my neighbors back home. In
less than 24 hours after surrendering to Him, God had provided me with enough money to now be over
half-funded. Praise!
And since that
day, He hasn’t stopped. Funds keep coming through in glorious and unexpected
ways. And, once again, I am reminded…He is faithful and He is good.
“Not
to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be thy glory, because of your love
and faithfulness.”
–Psalm 115:1
