Yes, I’m
excited. Yes, the next nine weeks will be “the time of my life” and all that
good stuff.
But, naturally,
I worry.
I still don’t
know where I’m staying when I get to South Africa. I’m not really sure what
it’s like to sleep in a house that has no central heating system when it’s 30
degrees outside. It will be interesting to see how I fare after a 36+-hour
travel “day”. And I’ve heard that culture shock upon return is bad. Real bad.
Another thing
about me: I’m a planner. I search for control, structure, and consistency in
all areas of my life. Especially when I’m worried.
So, this past
week, I’ve been attempting to prepare for the unknown. Plan to the point of
control.
Because, perhaps
somehow, I can guess how I will react to American culture when I land on Kansas
soil in late July. Maybe there is something I can think about or read now that
will help ease that transition.
Additionally, I
thought I’d be better prepared for the South Africa “winter” if I go through
all of my clothing in a logical manner. First by sleeve length, then by color,
and finally by cloth thickness. Because, surely, that will guarantee that I
won’t ever get caught in weather that I haven’t packed for.
Yet, after all
of that worrying, here I sit with less than 24 hours to go before my flight
departs, and I’m no better off than I was a week ago. My human attempts at
control and preparation have failed me. I’m still going to experience culture
shock upon return and I will probably get cold a time or two despite all the
various layers of clothing in my suitcase.
So why worry
about the unexpected? Why attempt to control the unknown? God tells us that
He has it all taken care of.
In Matthew
6:25-34 He commands us to not worry.
He calls us to depend on Him for our needs (not our wants and desires, but our
needs); to trust that He will provide for us.
As one of my
friends once told me, “He created us. Why wouldn’t He take care of us?” Good
question.
Instead, He
calls us to something greater than worrying about shelter and long travel days;
to look beyond the trivial things and have our eyes fixed on Him. While He is
providing for us in ways greater than we can imagine, we should be focused on
expanding His kingdom. On loving others well. On living a life worthy of the
Gospel.
So, yes, I don’t
know what to expect these next nine weeks. And there is nothing in my suitcase
that will ensure I have all my bases covered. But God has prepared my heart for
this journey; blessed me in ways so that I can be focused on something greater.
He has given me love for the children I will teach, endurance for the obstacles
I will face, and comfort for the days that I wish I were back home. And that’s
all the preparation I need. Thanks be to God!
