He is faithful and He is good.

I sit here today in awe of the way that the Lord provides.

It was the beginning of April and the business of the first half of the semester had settled down. I was starting to have the availability to focus on the parts of my life I had put on the backburner for a couple of months – one of those being fundraising for South Africa.

I had applied for (and unsuccessfully received) a couple of scholarships at the beginning of the semester. Truthfully, my attempts at fundraising thus far were quite pathetic. With only seven weeks to go, I had less than a fourth of my total raised and that had all come from an automatic scholarship from the program and a generous check from my parents (thanks mom and dad). So, at that point, you can imagine the sense of urgency in my heart.

Throughout this entire journey though, I’ve been working to trust the Lord. I know he would not provide this opportunity for me to go to South Africa and then just leave me when it came to raising funds. That’s just not his character. He is faithful and He is good.

This all came to a point a couple weeks ago on a Thursday evening during our prep course for International Service Teams. My other team members were talking about how they have been getting a lot of checks from friends and family members. One of the girls was even nearly fully funded at that point. I felt so inadequate, frustrated, and confused. So, I prayed…

“God, I know you are good and I know you are faithful. But, really, when is this money going to start coming? I don’t want to be greedy, but I’m at the end of my rope, God. I’m starting to doubt that you will provide.”

You know, it’s funny. It’s when I’m at the end of my rope that God comes through the most. It’s when I let go of wanting control and my desire to see my own plan executed. And it’s when I surrender and admit that it’s impossible to do it through my own strength and will. His plans are better than I can imagine and His grace is in no way dependent on my performance; on how many support letters I send out or about whether or not I receive the scholarships I apply for.

That same night of my breaking point, I went to Christian Challenge and sat next to one of my friends who is traveling to Taiwan this summer to serve in an orphanage. Consequently, she is also seeking to raise her own support for her trip. She had to slip out early during one of the last worship songs, but before she did, she handed me a note. While her encouraging words and bible verses she wrote were enough to give me hope, there was more. Attached to the bottom of the note was a check. This was money she was praying about giving me for a while and wanted me to have to support me in this journey. God’s timing is perfect.

And He didn’t stop there. The next day I woke up to an e-mail that said I had received a significant grant from the College of Education that I had applied for. Then, later in the day, I received two checks from some of my neighbors back home. In less than 24 hours after surrendering to Him, God had provided me with enough money to now be over half-funded. Praise!

And since that day, He hasn’t stopped. Funds keep coming through in glorious and unexpected ways. And, once again, I am reminded…He is faithful and He is good.

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be thy glory, because of your love and faithfulness.”

–Psalm 115:1

Altered Plans

Well, it’s official. I’m headed to South Africa this summer.

But even though I found out my summer plans about four months ago, this is a journey that has been a couple of years in the making. Ever since sophomore year when I heard about International Service Teams, a program offered through the School of Leadership Studies at K-State, I was hooked. This program sends teams of three to five students to various sites around the world for eight to 10 weeks in the summer to be immersed into a new culture and meet a community need in that area. For multiple years, the program has sent students to sites in Mexico, Brazil, and Kenya.

My heart has always had a desire to travel to Africa, so I was set on traveling to Kenya during the summer after my junior year. But when I started to go through the application process, there was an unsettling feeling deep inside me. I wasn’t sure why, but it was clear: God did not want me to go to Africa that summer. In an effort to surrender to God’s will and out of respect for IST, I knew it would be my best option to withdraw from the application process and pursue other options for the summer if my heart was not fully invested in this program.

I then spent the next few months frustrated, almost angry, with God because of the change of my summer plans. I started thinking that maybe Africa isn’t where God wanted me to go. Was I mistaken? Was I not successful at discerning God’s voice in my life? Why would he put a desire on my heart for Africa and then lead me away from it? It just didn’t make sense.

But, little did I know, God had something bigger planned for me.

“In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

–Proverbs 16:9

My withdrawal from the application process turned out to be a blessing. The spring of 2012 was my busiest semester at K-State yet: I was still trying to get my feet under me as a first year resident assistant, I was helping lead the K-State Proud campaign and I was drowning in the 30+ novels I was required to read for my four literature classes. It would not have been humanly possible for me to balance all of that with also preparing to travel internationally for the first time mere weeks after the semester ended. I’m still praising God for protecting my sanity that semester!

Additionally, it provided me with the opportunity to stay in Manhattan for the summer (something every K-State student should do). Here I was able to finally have some physical rest, spend time in fellowship with my new and old friends from Christian Challenge, work at First Presbyterian Church about 10 hours a week, and prepare for the upcoming school year.

But then I had several friends who traveled to Africa during the spring semester of 2012.  I had a friend who traveled to Ghana in January to serve at an orphanage for a couple of weeks and another friend who traveled to Ethiopia to spread the Gospel to a local village at the end of May. After reading his blog and hearing her stories, my heart was on fire again.

So, I started praying. Praying for any opportunity to go to Africa. Praying that IST is what God wanted me to do the summer after my senior year. Praying that my heart would align with His plan for me, Africa or no Africa.

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." -Matthew 21:22

When October rolled around this past fall semester, I felt that God had given me peace about applying again for IST. And I thought that I would preference Kenya as my top site and be done with it. God had something better in store though.

International Service Teams had created a new site for this year’s program. They would now be sending a team to South Africa, where the students would receive a more individualized experience. Instead of working as a team to meet a community need, the students would be placed in various non-profits in the area according to their strengths and passions. If I were to be accepted to this program, I could have the opportunity to work with youth and education in a low-income area. This site was even more appealing to me than Kenya.

But the application process this time around was far from perfect. I realized 36 hours before the application was due that I needed two letters of reference instead of just their contact information like I had previously thought. Also, the week of my group and individual interviews I was faced with two extremely emotionally taxing situations with residents. My heart was heavy, my mind was burdened, and my sleep was low. If I was going to get through this application process, it was not going to be by my own strength.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” --Philippians 3:14

In November I received the invitation to join Team Ubuntu. This came within the same four-week span when I was studying South African novels in my African literature course. It was then that I realized God’s perfect timing. It wasn’t that he didn’t want me to go to Africa, it was that he wanted me to learn patience; to wait for an experience that was bigger and better than I could imagine on my own.

That has continued to become clearer to me throughout the course of this semester. This experience more closely aligns with my future career aspirations than the community project in Kenya. I am passionate about the country and its history because of the background knowledge I gained in my African literature course this past fall semester. And my team is incredible. We are constantly on the same page and share a common vision for this summer.

But I want this to be a shared experience. So, with less than two months until I leave, I invite you to join me on this journey. Check back for regular updates about my preparations for the trip and throughout the summer as I continue to strive to see God’s work in my life.

Team Ubuntu: Me, Lindsay, Stephanie, and Lindsy